SisIggy purchased Smuckers Sugar-Free Strawberry Jam to use as a substitute for the real thing. A jar of the special stuff is twice as small as the regular jam, costs twice as much and, according to Sis, "tastes just like cough syrup".
So when you go to your local grocery make sure to pick up this when you feel a cold coming on.
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Actually, the sugar-free is more real than the corn-syrup-laden stuff you've been piling (yeah, I said piling) on your English muffins. I don't know what Smuckers does to it that Polaner doesn't, but it's is pretty awful nonetheless.
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