Now We Know How the Maytag Repairman Feels

It's Halloween!

Whoopie.

Having moved to the neighborhood earlier this year we asked our neighbors how many kids we could expect for Halloween. We wanted to make sure we had a credible supply of treats as the last thing we need right now in our lives are any tricks.

Landlord Judy told me that the numbers had dwindled in recent history but that we could expect 20. Her husband added that a neighboring farmer would most likely ride as a Headless Horseman.

We looked forward to the night as none of the other homes we've had were in a quaint neighborhood. We bought a pumpkin and Heir II carved it. We bought a second, mini-pumpkin with the idea that Gnigel would hold it in his lap. Unfortunately, Gnivel has been eating to much of late and there wasn't room for both the pumpkin and his stomach.

He did the next best thing. He made the pumpkin a football and here he is kicking the orange-skin around the yard.

Of course, Halloween this year fell on a Friday. We were competing with the local high school's football team. Except the game was two hours away and our team has won only one game all year.

I was ready to call it a night at 7:30 pm with nary a creature stirring.

SisIggy downloaded the camera and I started cropping the photos. I was about to turn off the outdoor lights when I saw a car pull into the driveway with a mom and two little girls.

They each got a piece of candy and allowed me to take their picture so I could prove we did get someone to stop by.

The festivities are over now. The lights have been turned off and this blog is almost finished.

Sis handed me a Reece's Cup and said "I cooked".

The Heirs (Frugal Man on the left; Ninja Joe, below) are still out with their significant others passing out treats
(at least that's what they said they were
doing) in their girlfriend's neighborhoods).

That gives me a few hours to hide the rest of the stash before they come home hungry.



And if I can't find a hiding place, I won't have any dessert.

Roanoke College or Bust

If you've been reading SisIggy's blog by now you know that Heir II had decided Roanoke College will be his home for the next four years. And if this is the first you're hearing about it, pull up a chair and see why.

The heir had already been accepted via early admission and had even been given a substantial financial aid package for the school. But with college expenses expected to be almost $40,000 the first year we told him that unless he was able to get a full ride, we wouldn't be able to help.

He had applied site unseen. RC had an open house last Saturday and with the help of the grandparents, we drove to Salem Saturday to check out the campus. The pre-dawn trip was very rainy and we arrived just in time for Heir II to visit one-on-one with a computer science professor who did a little personal recruitment.

We also attended a financial aid session that was tops (Lord knows we need financial aid) and then it was time for brunch.

I had expected watercress sandwiches and tea with maybe a few cookies sprinkled in.

What we got was a weekend brunch in the school's dining hall that was heaven.

Real scrambled eggs, hard-boiled eggs, bacon, biscuits and gravy and even omelets. Fresh fruit, a salad bar and the best compote I have ever eaten. And to hear our tour guide and even a Roanoke recruiter tell us the weekend food was sub-par to the rest of the week.

"Lobster Newburg, shrimp, prime rib and even Leg of Lamb with mint jelly," both told us. "Our chef's are graduates of the Culinery Institute of America. How many schools can say that?"

Yet Heir II wasn't sold on that alone. He was really impressed with the bank of cold cereal he saw once we entered the facility.

"I'm coming here," he said. "If nothing else, I'll be the new mascot."

She's Going to Big Lick U!

Heir 2 may not have made a final decision on a college choice yet but his dear mother has. And it only took SisIggy about two minutes to decide she was going to Big Lick U next fall. Heck, she may even enroll Monday so she'll have enough time to settle in before her first class Wednesday afternoon...

Hey Darks, the Uno Dough Is Here

This blog references one of the first I ever posted. As you may recall, the Darks invited us for a day in the city recently and was highlighted by a rude staff at a Uno Chicago Bar and Grill.

Once we got home and slept on it, Sis and I were still pissed and posted an email to corporate as a way to vent some steam.

We never figured we'd get a reply much less a phone call. Yet less than a day later Kacey, a senior hospitality rep called, and offered sincere apologies and a $40 voucher.


The vouchers came in the mail today along with a nice letter from Kacey. I'm sorry the correspondence wasn't as legible as I'd like but when I yield a camera anything is possible (or is that impossible).

Anyway' Kacey says in part: "Enclosed please find $40 in vouchers that can be used at any of our restaurants nationwide. Please share then with your brother in law and extend our sincere apologies to him and his wife."

So Dark, I have done the first part of Kacey's request. And together, the four of us can do the second part (as long as it isn't in DC).

Finally, since I know the suits at Uno reads this blog (how else would they know the name SisIggy, Dirtman and Dark Garden when they called last week), I want them to let Kacey know we got the vouchers and how thankful we are that corporate America still has a heart.

Wxxxxxg Out For a Bag of Food

What we in Dirty-Linguini Land will do for a paltry bag of dog food.

Lest all the Linguini lovers out there rile off at, or for that matter, on me, Sis wasn't the only whore in this photo with Mel the Border Collie, to the left. Yours truly was also one this afternoon, working for our friend Frank at his local kennel.

As many of you know a bag of kibble isn't as inexpensive as it once was. That, and our bank account is even thinner.

Fortunately, there are friends still out there like Frank. We put in four man-hours bathing (1) and brushing out (5) of Frank's famous doggies in lieu of actually paying cash for the food.

If things get any tighter, I might start eating the kibble myself.

Note to all. Sis wasn't too pleased with the title but for the life of me, I couldn't come up with a better word. Let it be said Sis is not a wxxxx now or ever.

Won't Bruce Be Proud of Me?

Work has been really slow lately so I have had to come up with new uses for seldom-used tools.

Here, I took my six-inch hand auger, which is used to excavate borings for the old-fashioned water percolation studies, and made it into a receptacle to hold the bird feeders we brought from another life.

Believe it or not, it worked.

We had a chickadee alight on the the feeder on the right within 20 minutes of installation. It was tentative at first but quickly came back for morsels.

I also moved our birdbath next to it so the site is a one-stop smorgasbord.

In less than a day it had alerted the birding community and we can now look out the window anytime during the day to see the birds eating away.

We'll need more seed within the month and will visit Wild Bird Unlimited for a re-stocking. I'm sure owner Bruce Johnson will be waiting with open arms.

Good Flick

W.

Sis and I went to see Oliver Stone’s moving depicting the life and times of George W. yesterday for my birthday. We went to the matinee so as to save money and didn’t get anything from the concessionaire so to save even more.

I really enjoyed the movie, especially the actors portrayal of the characters they brought to the screen.

Josh Brolin had the President down pat as did Richard Dreyfuss as Cheney and I don’t think H.W. could have done himself any better than James Cromwell did.

Karl Rove was a tough character for Toby Jones but he did an admirable job even though Philip Seymour Hoffman would have looked more like the GOP kingmaker. I suspect Hoffman was too much for even the foreign producers’ budget

.

It seems writer Stanley Weiser gleaned and obtained every quote W and Laura Bush ever stated and inserted them into the movie and for better or worse, it made the movie that much better.

The only drawback to the movie wasn’t about the movie.

Carmike Cinema, the monopoly chain in our neck of the woods decided a movie 2 hours and 11 minutes long needed 27 minutes of trailers in addition to the 20-plus minutes of “entertainment news” prior to the actual beginning. I was tired of sitting on the broken-down seats before the opening credits.

I’ll be glad when the purportedly new theater opens in our fair city soon.

Back to the movie, IMDB says it’s a biography, a comedy and a drama. And it was – depending on whether you’re an English major or a history buff (like me) or a Democrat or a Republican.

Sis may have the right take on it, when she said as we were leaving that Stone showed that Bush was “like we all suspected he was though we really hoped he wasn’t”.

And What Was Your Intial Thought?

Dark on the Sidelines of United's 2-1 Victory

I was surprised to see Dark at the NE Revolution - DC United game last night as I was flipping the channels on my TV. I was even more surprised when, after doing an image search on Yahoo, there was a photo of Dark along the sidelines snapping photos of the game.

My question is: How did he rank a sideline pass when he's not even a member of the press? Hell, in all my years of covering sports I never got such a pass from any league above sandlot ball.

Who does he know?

What to Do This Weekend?

SisIg and I were sitting at our partner's desk this morning each on our own computer reviewing blog comments and whatever else we do before the sun comes up. A passing comment from Sis started:

Sis: "Saturday is your birthday. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know," I said. We had talked earlier in the week about Charles Town Races this weekend and the running of the West Virginia Breeders Classic. But with no money that wasn't an option.

We had also discussed this was the weekend for the annual Shenandoah Valley Hot Air Balloon & Wine Festival at Long Branch. Sis and I along with Dark and John-Boy had attended last year and left disappointed, especially with the snootiness of the Northern Virginia crowd and that the only way to drink wine was to buy the even snobbier glasses. We got around that by using coke cups and even passing the bottle around the group. We got around the cork with a penknife.

"You think Dark and JB will be up for that again?" I asked.

"I wouldn't even want to ask," Sis relied.

Later, Thursday morning the water guy showed up with a load for the cistern. He and I have become friends, since he's always bails me out with the tank goes dry and Sis or one of the Heirs decides the toilet needs flushed.

He told me that he was busy the rest of the week hauling water to the Cedar Creek Battlefield for the annual re-enactment. After he left, I came back into the house and told Sis what I wanted to do.

"We're doing Cedar Creek this weekend," I said.

"OK," she replied with a slight roll of the eyes.

"We can go all three days," I added. "Make a weekend out of it. I'm sure the Darks and JB will want to do it too."

"Your birthday is only one day," Sis returned. "ONE DAY."

I checked out the web site and found the cost.

"It's expensive to watch men fight each other," I said. "$20 tickets. I wonder if we can park on US Rt 11 and watch from the hill."

The battle starts in the afternoon on Saturday with an encore performance Sunday.

"Hope they finish killing each other before 8 pm," I added. "Tech is on ABC Saturday night against Boston College. I don't want to miss that!"
Sis again rolled her eyes before adding, "So you aren't going to do anything special for your birthday."

"Guess not," I answered.

Uno Revisited

As you will recall Dark Garden, SisIggy and I all posted about our experiences at the Union Station Pizzeria Uno Chicago Grill Sunday in Washington. To recap, it was something we never want to repeat.

Dark zapped an email off to corporate Monday morning and Sis did too, later in the day. She signed my name to it as she hates talking to relatives and even the Heirs on the phone much less executive suits she has never met.

Much to my surprise, I got a call Tuesday afternoon from a really nice lady from Uno's Restaurant Holdings Corp in Massachusetts. She told me she was sorry for our inconvenience and then added, Are you Dirtman?

Apparently, Corporate subscribes to a Google service or something that lets them know when someone blogs negatively about them. I would hope they find out when someone likes them (although I doubt anyone has had any positive reactions for their Union Station store).

I told her I was. Then she asked who Dark Garden was. I told her my brother-in-law.

She had obviously read his post too.

The bottom line is it seems the Darks and Sis and I will patronize another Uno sometime in the future as Uno is mailing me a $40 voucher to sample at another of its establishments.

That was classy and I will go with an open mind and hopefully will leave with a full stomach and a new appreciation for the chain.

Sights and Sites: Part One

A roadtrip to DC is an adventure for the Darks, SisIggy and myself - especially when I wield the camera. In all likelihood, this will be my last foray with it -- I know Dark and Sis won't let me have it again and when readers see my take on the paintings at the National Gallery of Art, you all won't let me either.

The trip began innocently enough, though I think I may have gotten under Dark's skin a bit early on the Metro platform in Virginia.


Exiting the escalator at the Smithsonian's Orange Line we were greeted by one of the city's many tour guides peddaling Official Smithsonian Tour Books at a bargain price of $1.

Unfortunately, I was more broke than he was and he refused my offer of me taking his picture for $2, so we moved northward where I took the obligatory photo of the Washington Monument and the obligatory photo of the US Capitol.

I even managed a photo of Mr. and Mrs. Dark and SisIggy as we crossed the pea-graveled walkway.


Our first stop was at the Museum of Natural History where I saw the next gadget Dark Garden will get for his West Virginia Crime Lab.

I don't know what exactly he'll do with it and I don't know if he knows, but I am sure his next Homeland Security Grant will have the cash needed to import it from Canada.

We also saw the Giant Squid in the Sant Ocean Hall exhibit but it was too long to get photographed, and besides, I hate calamari. Sis likes the stuff but was afraid to say so.

Mrs. Dark allowed me to visit the Soils Exhibit that I once contributed a sum of cash too (when I had it). The exhibit includes monolithes of each state's (plus DC and Puerto Rico) official or, as in the case of Virginia the unofficial state soil.

Ours is Pamunkey -- the soil found around Jamestown and that which sustained the colonists in the early 1600s. So as to educate you, a monolith is a cross-section of the soil profile.

Technically, Pamunkey is a fine-loamy, mixed, semiactive, thermic hapludalf. For the scientists among us, I have included below the official soil description. For the unscientific - or for those who just doesn't give a damn - please skip below for the remainder of the travelogue.

PAMUNKEY SERIES

Soils of the Pamunkey series are very deep and well drained. They formed in Piedmont and Coastal Plain sediments. They are on nearly level to sloping stream terraces. Slopes range from 0 to 15 percent. Mean annual precipitation is about 48 inches, and mean annual temperature is about 59 degrees F.

TAXONOMIC CLASS: Fine-loamy, mixed, semiactive, thermic Ultic Hapludalfs

TYPICAL PEDON: Pamunkey fine sandy loam - cultivated. (Colors are for moist soil.)

Ap--0 to 9 inches dark brown (7.5YR 4/4) fine sandy loam; moderate fine granular structure; very friable, slightly sticky, nonplastic; many fine and medium roots; 3 percent rounded quartz gravel; few fine flakes of mica; neutral; abrupt smooth boundary. (6 to 12 inches thick)

Bt1--9 to 11 inches; yellowish red (5YR 4/6) sandy clay loam; moderate medium subangular blocky structure; friable, slightly sticky, slightly plastic; many fine roots; few faint clay films on faces of peds; 1 percent rounded quartz gravel; few fine flakes of mica; slightly acid; clear smooth boundary.

Bt2--11 to 26 inches; yellowish red (5YR 4/6) clay loam; moderate medium subangular blocky structure; friable, slightly sticky, slightly plastic; common fine roots; common distinct clay films on faces of peds; common black stains on vertical faces of peds; 5 percent rounded quartz gravel; few fine flakes of mica; slightly acid; gradual smooth boundary.

Bt3--26 to 43 inches; yellowish red (5YR 4/8) sandy clay loam; weak coarse subangular blocky structure; friable, slightly sticky, slightly plastic; few fine roots; common faint clay films on faces of peds; common black coatings on faces of peds; 5 percent rounded quartz gravel; few fine flakes of mica; slightly acid; gradual smooth boundary. (Combined thickness of the Bt horizon ranges from 35 to 60 inches.)

BC--43 to 46 inches; yellowish red (5YR 4/8) sandy loam; weak fine subangular blocky structure; friable, slightly sticky, nonplastic; few faint clay films on faces of peds; common black stains; 10 percent rounded quartz gravel; common fine flakes of mica; moderately acid; abrupt wavy boundary. (30 to 12 inches thick) 30 to 60 inches)

2C--46 to 80 inches; stratified layers of yellowish brown (1OYR 5/6), strong brown (7.5YR 5/6), and reddish brown (5YR 4/4) sand and rounded greenstone and granite gravel; single grain; loose; few cobbles; common fine flakes of mica; medium acid.

The soil is found here in this part of Virginia:

Okay, enough with the boring stuff already.

Sghts and Sites: Part 2

Ready for another, exciting take on all things DC?

The Natural History tour is behind us and we proceeded to the butterfly garden and the sculpture garden before heading to the Art Museum. Here are two of the most beautiful butterflies we found. Once we got to the Sculpture Garden I saw three specimen that totally blew me away.

I mean, who in their right mind would pay someone to create these objects? At least the funds for the monstosities were via private donations and not Uncle Sam. It's a wonder.

We also watched as a young boy dropped his sippy cup into this cool pool.

Everyone tried to retrieve it but the cops wouldn't allow wading and it looked like the kid would have to leave without it until I reached out and grabbed it as it floated by, Everyone applauded, including the cops, but in the excitement, Sis forgot to snap the picture so you'll have to take my word.
After leaving the gallery I found this new monument that I had never seen before:

Seriously, though we were hungry and tired and saw a different slant on all things considered.

Take, for example, the sign on the left. No wonder the country is in such a mess when there is signage like this. Why is the sign rectanular when it's obvious that its really a triangle?

We got back on Metro and went to Union Station where we were royally snubbed at Pizzeria Uno.

We sat here at this table, which apparently is the official seat of Ms. Pelosi when she isn't running the country.
Hope she gets better service than we did.

Fortunately, we did find excellent service at the Center Cafe and the Maryland Crabcake sandwhich was delectable to boot.

Vacarro's was fortunately closed by the time we got there for dessert. With a full stomach and a happy time, we boarded Metro and headed for home.

My View of Art

I sincerely hope art enthusiasts don't track me down for what I am about to depict here. One might say I have a warped sense of appreciation but in reality, I just see things differently from most folks.

Take, for example Saint George And The Dragon, by Sadoma.

I know who did it by doing a Google search. At the gallery, all I saw was a flaming red cape and had to really look hard for the dragon...

Meanwhile, I saw bits of other photos, like what I call the Wandering Eye series.


No matter where you viewed the painting in the room, the damn thing was watching you. I even wonder why there was a NGA Protective Service person guarding each room entrance when it was obvious the painting was the real guard.



Another semblance was that most early painters apparently had a foot fetish. Why else would they paint this:
and that?















Like us, they also apparently liked to eat. And they had good taste too -- succulent oysters on the half-shell and sliced watermelon, just to name a few. The paintings did make me think and I guess that's a goal of the gallery. For example, why is this bird sainted?
And why weren't any of the dogs or cats sainted?









And why is Eastman credited with
inventing a camera when one was
already available 300 years earlier.

Finally, when all was said and done, I
walked into a room and found

my wife Sisiggy hanging on the wall.

Do you think she might darn my socks when she gets done hemming Heir I pants?

Enough Already

It had been a long day and even SisIggy had had enough.
As we walked towards the parking garage at Vienna - Fairfax - GMU Metro Station (finding the car was yet another story for another day), I took the 141st and final photo.
I believe the pic speaks for itself.